Heartlines
by spazmoid
Summary: makorin drabbles based on prompts from fxxkyeahmakorin and marukaprompts.
1. Makeshift Stars

"Christ Makoto, what the hell happened to your room?" Rin said as he walked into a haphazard zone of sheets draped over chairs and couch cushions. That would have explained when he came in the surroundings looked slightly different. He and Makoto had been going steady for a while now (three months, two weeks, and five days - not that Rin was counting), and he had been over on numerous occasions, enough to be able to pick up when something was different. In this case it was the missing couch cushions that had been found in Makoto's rooms being used as...

"Have you never seen a pillow fort?" Rin looked at Makoto who was wearing his signature warm smile. He took Rin's wrist and led the other inside. "The twins built it, but I guess they forgot to clean up before going to the birthday party." The twins were gone. That also explained why the Tachibana household was not as loud as it usually was. It was quiet for once, Makoto's parents who knew where, and the two boys sitting in the makeshift fort of various pillows and blankets. Hell, they had even incorporated Makoto's bed into it. It was pretty impressive for a couple of primary school children.

"It'd look better with lights," Rin commented thoughtfully as he flopped down on a pile of the pillows that were strewn on the floor. Makoto tilted his head in response before crawling out and disappearing. It was not long before he appeared once again with holiday lights that he began to hang around the tents interior along with little kiddie lamps that he had nabbed from his siblings' room. Makoto disappeared again and then the room went dark, and then there was magic. The holiday lights were stars against a multi-coloured landscape that surrounded them. It had been Rin's idea, but he was still impressed at how well it turned out. Makoto flopped down beside him and smiled at the other.

"It's like we're sleeping under stars."

Now Rin, being the person who he was, could not help but laugh softly at the comment. "You're a big sap know that?" he said.

"I could say you're the biggest star in the room."

Rin flushed slightly at the bold comment before hitting the other with a pillow. "You just did you idiot!" He managed to yell that right before Makoto retaliated with his own pillow, careful not to hurt the hurt the other. He wished Rin could be as careful, but the other was so competitive that he never even paid attention to details like that. Makoto finally managed to get him to stop by pinning the other down. They both panted to catch their breath as Makoto sent the other another one of Those Smiles that Rin was not exactly sure whether he loved or hated.

"I know," Makoto finally said to break the silence. "I meant to say it."

"Sap." Rin meant no harm in the words although. Makoto could translate into what he knew them to be. The trick was reading Rin's eyes rather than his mouth. In this case, Rin's eyes read "Hurry up and kiss me you fucking idiot."

So he did.

He pressed his gentle lips against another soft pair that hid a sharp, violent tongue. Rin tugged him down by the strands of his hair as Makoto intensified the kiss, revelling in what hinted as a moan in Rin's breath when he ran a large hand up the other's shirt. "Can't be too loud. My parents might hear," Makoto warned as another breathy noise left Rin's mouth when Makoto's kissed moved to his now exposed neck.

Rin was forced to quiet himself with one of his hands as Makoto'a lips (and teeth and tongue) continued to tease his neck, never dark enough to leave marks that would last longer than the weekend. His other hand gripped Makoto's hair as the hand travelled downwards to the waist of his baggy lounge pants. He had to bite his knuckles when the hand slipped inside. He did not mean for his hips to buck up, but that did not stop them. The involuntary movement knocked into a pillow that sent the fort tumbling on top of them.

After the initial shock (and many curses on Rin's part), Makoto managed to untangle them (insert more curses) laughing the entire time. "I think that's a sign we should sleep," he said as he pushed some of the lights off of Rin's shoulder. He thought briefly before wrapping them back around him.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Now you really shine like a star," Makoto said, and he was grinning brightly by then. Rin was positive the light in Makoto's smile could out-do any fiery ball in space. Or in this case, wrapped around him in the glow of holiday lights.

"You're an idiot," he said with a scowl on his lips and laughter in his his eyes. He knocked the lights off and stood, stretching before helping Makoto up as well. Makoto only kissed his cheek and whispered something that Rin could have sworn was "your idiot" but would not dare ask. They both clambered into Makoto's bed, Rin rolling over the other to sleep near the wall. Makoto never questioned the preference, just enjoyed the fact of Rin beside him. While Makoto slept like a plank, Rin would curl and move constantly even in his sleep. Right then, he had already closed his eyes and moved a bit closer to Makoto. Their breaths and heartbeats mixed in the silence, turning into white noise that lulled them both to sleep. Rin would probably curse about the huge mess and having to help Makoto to clean it up (after all, he had kicked it down), but right then it was just them.

And honestly, that was all that really mattered.


	2. Landfill

It had all started with a proposition. Rin had accepted out of selfish necessity. He told himself that it was lust that drew him toward eyes made of raw peridot and the most gentle kind of smile. He told himself that he wanted the heat of his broad back and arms around his waist, not the heat of the other's heart that beat for his rival who was always too busy, too lost in his own quiet world to notice Makoto's adoring stares. His fingers tangled in hair that could change like magic from tan to cinnamon to sand depending on the lighting he was in. His nails would drag down the hard muscles of the other's back and chest, and he would never notice, never care that he was holding on desperately to the sweet moments filled with sweet nothings he knew were not meant for him.

When he realised that nothings were exactly what they were, it was too late.

He had fallen.

He was drowning.

No matter how much he clawed and fought, Makoto's eyes would wander. He had told himself it would not hurt, not too much, to allow Makoto to manipulate him for his own selfish reasons, but it did. It was excruciating, torturous. He found himself lost beneath snow and ice and his heavy heart. He found it hard to leave the bedside that was already cold after the other left. He would go to his dorm, and he would sob. Not in front of others. That could not be allowed. He would lock himself in the bathroom and slide to the floor under the guise that he was showering and collapse on the floor biting his lips and tongue to choke down his voice.

He prayed to his heart, for its forgiveness for the grievance he had put it under because no matter how much he hated how much he hated what Makoto was doing, he could not hate the man himself.

He had wanted so much and so little at the same time. Three-little-words danced on his tongue, but when he was finally found on that bathroom floor by those peridot eyes, the opposite poured out.

"I hate you."

Makoto needed to go. Rin had accepted that he did more harm than good. Makoto begged him to stay. He poured out empty apologies that Rin closed his ears to. He could not keep playing along. He was not Haruka. He was Rin. He was Rin. He was Rin.

He mumbled that to himself, a small "I'm Rin" that confused the other as he scrubbed at his face desperate to stop the dam pouring saltwater from his eyes. Then he was the one begging. He was pleading that Makoto just please get out because Oh God it hurt to even breathe from his scratchy throat and struggling lungs. He could hardly manage words out by the time he was forced into an embrace that he needed but hated.

Makoto was not sorry. Rin just knew it, and he was so bitter for knowing it. He could understand when people said bliss was ignorance. He wanted to forget he was a replacement for something the other could not have. He wanted to forget peridot and sand and sugar-coated lies, but instead he just laxed in the arms as he felt fingers in his hair. He could hear the other's heart beating and his steady breathing that challenged Rin's own raspy inhales. This love would be his grave. He would be buried in the sweet, little white lies and the bitter truth, and the worst part was that his heart kept whispering it was worth it. That everything (his mind, his heart, his very being) was worth the other holding him.


	3. BitterSweet

He had a bunch of smiles. Rin Matsuoka had learnt that from studying the young barista in the café for a long time. He would watch him, the way his green eyes turned in the light and his hair hung short around his ears. He would watch and wonder how such a man of huge stature could walk with an amazing sort of grace, weaving between the crowded café. Rin had the habit of showing up in the mornings, before classes and after his morning runs. The barista was always there, and unintentionally, Rin had grown a bit obsessed. He had learnt which tables the barista had worked and on which days without hardly paying any real thought to it. He had even learnt the barista's name. Tachibana. It rolled off his tongue as relieving as a morning coffee was after an all-nighter on a final semester term paper.

"You're here a lot aren't you?"

Rin had spaced. His fingers were still posed on the handle of his black coffee and grazing the top of a sandwich he had only taken a large bite out of. He drew his eyes to the man in front of him. If he was guessing right, Tachibana was a full head taller than him. "What's it to you? Maybe I just like the service." Rin was not entirely sure why he had said those words, but he found them embarrassing after he said them. He swallowed it down and looked down at his coffee that he brought through his lips.

Maybe he could swallow his embarrassment with it.

He dared to take a glance at Tachibana who was still standing there with a smile on his face. It was not the Polite Smile, but the Gentle Smile. Rin had saw it cross the barista's features a few times. There was the time when two young siblings came in babbling with a young man with an effeminate face that held an apathetic expression. This was the first time he had the chance of seeing the smile up close. He looked away again and sipped his coffee.

This time when he sneaked another glance, Tachibana was gone.

Rin continued that way for months. Spring turned to Summer. Summer turned to Autumn. Autumn turned to Winter. Snow coated the ground, and Rin, who now smelled of constant chlorine and sweat from the heavy jackets he wore during the season, was in the café more often to escape the brisk weather of Japan. At times like these, he wished he was back in Australia with a fan. Too hot was better than too cold. At least when he was hot, he could sweat off a cold.

He was waiting for his coffee when he found a glass of _something_ set before him. "White tea helps with your immune system," the voice Rin had came to know too well explained. "The leaves in the tea are minimally processed and are steamed and dried in order to keep all of the freshness in the leaves. I know you are not too fond of sweet things although, so I adjusted the recipe." He spoke calmly, all the while the Gentle Smile on his lips. It was different although. Maybe it was Tachibana's eyes. They had changed ever-so-slightly.

That, or Rin was reading too into things.

Eyes like two small green tea lattes watched him bring the glass to his lip with both hands and sip. He could feel them on him, staring at him, as he brought the mug back down. "It's okay," he said watching the green eyes dull to a tea that had been seeped too long. The smile faltered, and Rin looked away. "I mean. For tea. It could be worse. I'll pay for it."

"No need," Tachibana said. "It's on the house, Rin." The name came off of the other's tongue much too easily, as if he already knew them. The familiarity stunned Rin for a second as he stared. His hands were still touching the warmth of the glass. Before he could ask how Tachibana knew his forename, the other was gone.

He went the next day, but his favourite barista was absent. He waited an hour before exiting the café. The next day he came, and he waited again. The process repeating until all he did was sullenly order a to-go order and leaving.

"When did you start drinking tea lattes?" Nitori asked, the young man at his side. He had followed him on his run despite Rin's obvious disgruntled agreement to it. Rin just shrugged and sipped the latte. Nitori was a slower runner than him, and he had made him run much later than normal on his routine. Rin would be late for classes, but he was pretty sick anyway.

"Helps with the immune system," he finally said to answer Nitori's steady inquisitive stare. Rin found it annoying how those clear blue eyes would stare at him. It reminded him too much of steady green, and he hated remembering that green. He swallowed a sigh with a sip of his latte. "Drink your damn latte, so we can leave." Nitori had order the same drink. Rin found that habit of copying what he did a little weird, but he did admire Nitori's spirit. That was why they were good friends. More than anyone else Rin had became acquainted with at Samezuka University anyhow.

Rin did not even notice the clatter on his table until he looked up, surprised green eyes met by equally stunned Rooibos eyes. They grew in size when he was tugged from the table, leaving Nitori calling after him as he was dragged out of the café. Rin jerked his arm away viciously and hissed. "What the hell Tachibana?" He rubbed his wrists and scowled seeing the red tint that peeked from the sleeves of his jersey.

Tachibana seemed to be catching his breath. "You never came in with someone before," he said as if that would answer everything. All the simple statement did was irk Rin even more.

"What the fuck? Why is that any of your business?" His voice was a dangerous kind of low, sharp teeth threatening to bare from behind his fiercely downturned lips. "You don't even work this shift." The last statement was muttered as Rin continued to glare and scowl at the other.

"I do too. My schedule was changed," he said. There was no smile on his face as he said it, just a displeased frown Rin had never seen before. He kept staring at Rin. "Who was that?"

Rin glared at him. He was sure Tachibana was bringing up Nitori again. "None of your damn business," he repeated, and this time his tone was brisk. Fury showed in his incarnadine eyes. He brought his hands to Tachibana's chest and shoved him roughly. "Why do you want to know?"

A hand fell against the wall and somewhat cornered him against the literal bricks of the café and the metaphorical bricks that made up Tachibana's chest. That displeased expression was still there as he was stared down, those eyes boring into his. It disrupted him and made whatever snarky comeback had been in his mind catch in his throat. He swallowed the unsaid sentence and stared back as if challenged.

"I like you Matsuoka Rin."

If Rin had not been leaning against the wall, he was sure he would have fallen over or something equally embarrassing. He choked on the air that had caught in his throat, opening his mouth and then closing it. That had not been what he was expecting to leave the barista's mouth.

"I saw you swim. At the meets. I like to watch them," he explained quickly not delving into whatever nostalgia drove him to go. "I got your name from the screen announcing your first place, and then I learnt you came to the café at the same time every day." The once vexed expression was now showing what looked to Rin like nerves. He had seen that same expression on many first-timers in the competitive circuit at a meet.

"It's not that I followed you home or anything. I just kept track of your meets, and I umn... I tried to get the same shift, but then I realised it might be kind of weird, so I tried to avoid you." Definitely nerves. Whatever sign of displeasure on Tachibana's face had completely turned into nothing but nerves. "I uh..." He frowned deeply and his peridot stare was no longer on Rin's face, giving the other a chance to catch whatever breath he had stolen with his steady, intense gaze.

"Shut up. Explain what that has to do with Nitori." Now that he was no longer being worn down by those eyes, his courage and abrasive attitude was back.

"Explain to me what he is to you," Tachibana retorted. This time the nerves had mixed with whatever burden had been in the brunet's mind when he had dragged Rin from the warmth of the café. He brought his face closer - 'too close' Rin noted to himself. He tried to back away only to remember there was a wall.

"He's a friend not that you need to know Tachibana." Rin then paused and scowled. "Tell me your first name." It was just plain unfair that Tachibana seemed to know so much about him, and all Rin had on him was a bunch of smiles and the fact the other knew a lot about coffee beverages.

"I will only tell you if you go out with me."

Rin just stared at him shocked at the bold statement that still somehow sounded unsure coming from Tachibana's mouth. "You're so... weird," he finally said, and then he sighed heavily. His anger had eased somewhat although he was still irritated. "Fine."

He was further irritated by the way a smile worked its way on Tachibana's lips. "But one date. And you have to pay and meet me you fucking stalker," he muttered. This time his harsh words did not seem to make a single dent in the shining, bright smile on him. It was astoundingly warm, a new type of smile Rin had never seen before. He was struck dumb as he stared at it. Then even dumber when he felt the lips of that smile on his. He thought he heard someone say his name, but the voice was forgotten as the kiss deepened even more. The barista tasted like coffees and children's candies, a type of bittersweet that reminded Rin of a specially made white tea latte he had grown so very fond of.

"Makoto."

It took Rin a few moments to realise that was the name that belonged to peridot and green tea latte eyes. "Makoto...," he repeated trying the word on his tongue. It was strange to finally learn the barista's name he had been watching for nearly a year. It was even stranger to be kissing him again. He kissed back that time, his mouth imploring that bittersweetness farther. He only pulled back when his lip received the faintest bite. "What the hell?!" he cursed and pulled back. He reached up and touched his bruised and somewhat split lip.

A new smile. It was amazing how sweet it was considered to the action. Rin had learnt that maybe that bittersweetness went ever further than just Makoto's coffee-flavoured and candied kisses. "Remember our date," he said the new smile fading behind a gentle one. Rin was still in awe. 'Orca'. The thought entered his mind without thought. For a moment Makoto had reminded him of a killer whale confiscating territory. He watched as Makoto made his goodbyes and politely gave a stunned still Nitori that Orca Smile Rin had just discovered.

Nitori's blue eyes met Rin who just muttered for him to come on, not caring that he left his white tea unfinished. He had enough of that peculiar sweet flavour from lips that hid a million different smiles. He found the name the flavour was associated with had acquired the flavour as it ran over in his head.

He did not even realise he had been smiling until Nitori pointed it out. When asked, he said 'nothing' when really there was a kind of 'everything' churning in his mind. (Every smile, every word, and every bittersweet moment that he knew would be stuck in his mind until the next day when he had his refill of not a white tea latte but green tea eyes and a candy smile.)


	4. How It Feels to Fall

It was like he was floating. Maybe he was. The world was so pale and colourless. Usually, the lack of colour would have frightened him, but in that moment, he found found it soothing. The blank silence drowned out the noise that usually filled his head. The drumming din of "swim harder," "swim faster," "winwinwin" was so faint. All he could really hear was "I'll make you proud," and even it was peaceful in his white-washed world. It was like the world had been dipped in bleach and wrung out to fade out all the colour. He closed his eyes.

"Rin."

The voice cracked the silence, and the landscape around him rippled. _Rin_. That was his name. He had forgotten. He was so lost in the tranquillity. His eyes, vibrant compared to his surroundings, opened to watch the ripples of the sky with what could only be seen as stoic interest. (Briefly, he wondered if this was how dolphins felt when swimming underwater.) His thoughts shifted to wonder if he was dead. Maybe death was just sweet relief from all of his worries. Here, he had no worries at all.

"Rin!"

The voice was so loud that the ripples churned at its volume. Rin's dreamscape was turbulent and threatening to collapse around him.

A dream. Rin now realised this was not death. He was locked in his own mind.

"_Rin!_"

That time the voice sent the world crashing down. The white filled his lungs and choked him until his eyes opened to a reality, his reality, that was just as pale as the surreality he had been jerked from. The only reason he knew he was not still asleep was that he felt heavy, like heavy pebbles filled his pockets and shoes. Maybe all of his organs had been replaced with rocks. That was how heavy he felt.

He lifted his hand and stared at the thing on his index finger. He had never been the best with medical terms. He just knew whatever rested on his finger was a device used in hospitals. He managed to pick out in his groggy mind that it measured heartbeat. Or blood pressure. His thoughts were as heavy as the rest of him.

He began to piece things together slowly. White walls. White sheets. Beeping monitors. Wires.

No.

IV tubes.

There was the overpowering smell of disinfectant on everything, and with it came Rin's old loathing of hospitals. He opened his mouth to speak, but he felt as if cotton filled his throat.

A doctor stepped in (_More white_, Rin had thought). Suddenly there was a little light in his eyes, a hand in his face, instructions tossed at him ("hold out your arm," "tell me how many fingers you see," "sit up if you can"). He leant back against the headboard having sat up - much to his cumbersome body's discomfort. He tried (and failed) to not bite the tongue depressor in half as it entered his mouth. He was relieved when the doctor exited and left behind a vibrant nurse. She brightened up the room like a tropical fish trapped in a grey-rocked tank. He watched her flit about to note his vitals as he slid his eyes closed again.

There had been a kitten. Rin remembered its calico coat. He had spotted it in a tree on his jog. He had reached and called for it, but the kitten remained trembling in the tree. His decision had been to go up if it was not coming down.

Then there was just panic and weightlessness and nothing at all.

His eyes were open again, but the nurse was gone. He was alone once more. Panic scrambled to join the cotton in his throat to choke him. He had to move. He pressed his hands to the bed and ignored the sting as he used them to help with the arduous task of lifting up his stone-filled body. He could not ignore the sharp pain that shot through every single one of his nerves, however. He hissed in annoyance and tumbled down again. The cotton had grown so thick he coughed, and his hands balled into fists. He tried to push himself up again. And again. And a-fucking-gain.

Ruby eyes caught him when he was spitting out the cotton in a slur of vulgarities drunken with pain killers that were wearing off and frustration. "Rin! You should be in bed!" His sister's arm guided around his waist, only to be viciously shoved away. When their eyes met, she whispered something. Red communicating with red in a way that only siblings could do so well. Rin kept staring at them even after the meaning of the look had been translated. He kept staring even as his eyes began to burn.

_Crybaby_, his mind hissed, but the self-inflicted insult could not stop it from happening. Incarnadine clouds gathered in his eyes, and fat saltwater raindrops dripped down his cheeks. Tremors travelled from his chest and spread through the rest of him as he wailed loud and ugly. He could usually hide it or hold it in, but the despair at what his sister had told him had shattered his every barrier.

_You can't_, her eyes had said. _I'm sorry Rin. You can't._

He could not stand. He could not walk. He could not swim.

He was still shaking as Gou wrapped her arms around him again. He did not push her away that time. He just slumped down as he kept sobbing, and he had coated her with his snot and tears. He tried to make words, but nothing tumbled out but gibberish. He could not make himself coherent. Not that it mattered. He was not talking to Gou anyway. He was talking to himself, to his father.

By the time Rin was granted leave from the hospital, he had stopped crying. Honestly, he had stopped doing. His eyes had lost their old vibrancy, and what was left was permanent cloudy red. He felt empty as he watched the hospital disappear from the backseat of his mother's car. He could faintly hear music, but he did not listen close enough to notice his mother was playing his favourite album as they rode "home."

Rin was not sure if he could still call it that after not really living there for longer than a week at a time for the past nine years. He had thought of the pool as his home. The beach. Not the bedroom waiting for him at the small, one-story house filled with memories he could not bear to think of right then. He would rather be at Samezuka, but his doctor had told him the stairs and long distance between his classes was too much of a strain for his body. He was slowly recovering, and even when he did, he could not swim competitively. His body couldn't take the difficult training it had before.

He grimaced at his crutches that he had to use to struggle on the stairs with to the front door. He could feel his family watching him, but he refused to acknowledge their worries as he pushed open the door with the boot of a crutch and made it to the backroom that was his room. The room with the window that gave a clear view of the ocean that was his father's grave and had became his home.

Posters covered the walls, and there were various seashells and shark teeth he had collected when he was little. There were trophies and medals, from bronze to silver to finally bright, victorious gold. He looked at them, and then his hands tore down the posters, shredded them like scissors. Down went the ribbons that were in tattered shreds on the floor when he was finished with them. The trophies and medals crashed loudly in his black trash bin. He broke the shells, the shark teeth, and the he finally hurled a crutch right across the room to curl up on his bed in defeat.

That night he found himself crying again.

It was not so hard to get used to things again. Granted, he had withdrawn deeper into himself, but he had not had many acquaintances to begin with. Those he had had were all on the swim team. Nitori tried to speak to him, but he was easy to avoid with their gap in grade levels. Rin even avoided his family when he was home. He would lock himself in his bare room and sit with his window open to allow ocean air to fill his nose. He would stare at his empty ceiling and pray for his thoughts to be just as empty. Any thoughts that tried to slither into that quiet place were drowned out by the music that played non-stop from his media dock. He was trying to reach the same level of peacefulness he had managed to acquire in that dream. The only problem was that every time he actually did fall asleep he would have a nightmare. Drowning, pain, falling, screaming. Every single one was so very different, but the same chilling panic factor washed over him every time he was thrust into them. He would wake blindly searching for some sort of relief he could not find. He usually jogged the nightmares away, but now he could not. Without his usual outlet, the terror just built in him until he just stopped sleeping.

Sometimes, he would pass out and be filled with the best kind of blackness that hardly felt like sleep at all. Not a dream, but it was better than nightmares. One day he woke up from one of his faints to feel a warmth on his chest. He opened his eyes and let his gaze rest on a small bundle of fur for a few moments. It must have crawled in through his open window. He sat up and startled it awake. Before the little kitten could hurry off, he scooped him up to carry him to the bathroom. He was quiet as he gave the cat a bath and dried him off. (It was a him. He had checked.) Its brown, grey coat dried to matted white fur that he combed out with an old, wire-toothed brush. He put the cat down only to watch it trot right out the window again.

He sighed heavily and went back to lay on his bed. It was not like he cared anyway.

A few days later, the cat came back with a friend. Rin stared in disbelief before simply cleaning that one up as well. He fed them some meat he had laying about in his room. He had stopped eating more than gummy candies and soft drinks a while ago (might as well let his body go to hell if he could not train). He needed something to do with the food his mother and sister kept trying to feed him. The cats ate it hungrily. Rin watched him with a bored look, but the clouds in his eyes had cleared just faintly.

The cats forced his empty mind to think about something, but oddly, Rin found himself not minding. Perhaps he had reached a stage of emptiness where he just did things on automatic. Taking in the cats had became automatic. They were another distraction. He let them come and go as they please, simply letting them have a place to eat, sleep, and get cleaned up. The cats were easy to care for. Even when Rin had to tend for the occasional injury, they still hardly disturbed the bland routine he had made for himself. (wake up, school, snack, bed). What really disturbed his routine were the green eyes he found peeking over his windowsill one day.

For a brief moment, he had thought he had found another cat, but then he realised cat's were not _that_ big and did not have _those_ kind of green eyes. He tried to ignore Makoto at first. It was weird. He knew the other was like a Mother Hen to, well, everyone, but you would figure after a few months people would get some sort of hint to just leave him alone.

Then again, he had ignored Makoto for years, and he had still had the audacity to call him in the middle of the night and leave him a voicemail.

Makoto was never there long. He just dropped by and seemed to spy on him for a bit before disappearing. Rin thought it was strange, and if it was anyone but Makoto, he might have even found it creepy. But the fact was it was Makoto Tachibana, and he supposed for that reason alone it was, in its own peculiar way, okay. So after a while, he let Makoto's dropping in on him to part of his routine. Then came the gifts.

Flowers - white and yellow yarrows. His childhood gummy snacks. A shark keychain. Trinkets and trivial things that Rin paid no real attention to. He would eat the snacks and put the flowers on his windowsill, but other than that, he refused to really acknowledge them. The keychain rested next to the vase he had put the flowers in. When he managed to gather about five more vases of yarrows, he began to pay attention.

And it was annoying.

Really annoying.

He had no idea what the hell Makoto was even trying to do.

That was why, for the first time, he left the house with the foldable cane in his pocket that the doctor had insisted on. He did not tell his sister or his mother that he was leaving. He did not care if they knew. He was just confused and irritated that the flowers were taking over his room, and he had no idea what to do with the cursed things. But for some peculiar reason, he could not throw them away.

He stopped partway to the house, and he sat on a bench he knew was a definite landmark between the long stretch to his house. It was not long before he saw Makoto walking down the sidewalk to his house with his jacket about him and a bouquet of yarrows in hand. Rin took out an earbud and reached for a small pebble underneath his foot to beam Makoto in the head with.

The other yelped and fell over, terrified, peering out of watery green eyes to meet a frustrated glare from the other teenager. "What the hell are you doing?" Rin asked his voice a bit raw for being in disuse for so long. He cleared his throat and kept glaring. Makoto averted his eyes and reached up to rub the nape of his neck. He was quiet, and that irritated Rin even more. He did not even think about the fact he was feeling something besides apathy for the first time, since he had came home from the hospital. He picked up another rock and threw it. Makoto's reflexes reacted that time, and he managed to block it.

"R-Rin!" Makoto managed to bumble out only to be snapped at.

"What the hell are you doing?! Leaving me flowers and shit?! I don't even know what the hell they are! They're crowding up my room! It smells like a god damn garden! And you keep fucking spying on me! It's been a month! A whole fucking month of your damn, weirdass eyes creeping up on me! You're scaring the cats! It's weird! You have other people to bother don't you?! Just leave me the hell alone!" Rin bared his teeth and narrowed his eyes that still had bags beneath them from his insomnia. "That's all I came to say," he finished in a quieter tone as he moved to sit up with a grunt. He really had walked farther than he was probably supposed to. He had just gotten started using his legs again without the assistance of crutches. He was a bit sore and stiff from sitting, but he was certain he was not in such a condition that he would not make it home. He could hear quiet footsteps behind him, and he sighed heavily.

He stopped suddenly, and Makoto nearly bumped into him in surprise. He glared at him. He took out the cane and jabbed Makoto in the chest with. "Stop. It."

"Why?"

The question took Rin by surprise. He had not expected Makoto to argue. He scowled. "Why not?" Rin swore he saw a smile of amusement cross the other's lips. He frowned and turned around, folding the cane back up and sliding it into his pocket. He decided to ignore Makoto the rest of the way home, refusing to utter one word to the large brunet behind him.

When he reached his house, he went inside and glared at Makoto, who was still wearing that same irritating and amused smile on his face. He slammed the door.

"Plan: Get Rid of Makoto" was not a success. In fact, it had backfired. Rather than stop sending him flowers, Makoto doubled his efforts. Rin woke up one day to see a pot of them outside with a little note that said "Please take care of me" with a dumb happy emote at the end of it. He was mostly frustrated because he was not sure what Makoto was trying to accomplish by being so nice to him. He hardly even noticed himself slightly changing as he began to react to the gifts. Makoto had started leaving things other than flowers. One day Rin even found homemade kimchi sitting on his open windowsill.

He was not entirely sure what made him start responding back. He began to leave Makoto things too. At first, they were little notes telling him to fuck off. Then he began making the notes into origami cranes and flowers. He began to make them into something new every time he sent them. He told himself it was because he just had nothing to do all day, not because he was actually acknowledging Makoto's little annoying presents. Lying to himself made it easier to try and be empty again.

When he found white Sweet-Williams in a pot on his windowsill, he just took them inside and put them with the yarrows that were still growing. Rin had been taking care of then. The cats liked them. He was such a good liar he believed what he told himself. Still, no matter how much he denied that a new attitude was forming, he could not deny that Makoto was worming his way into the hole he had buried himself in. That, or Makoto was digging a damn grave next to him and refusing to budge.

One day, Makoto brought him cat food, right through his bedroom door. He came in while Gou was at swim practise (shouldn't Makoto have been there too?) and his mother was at work. He sat right in Rin's room, and he just smiled as Rin pretended not to notice he was there. He played with the strays that were in Rin's room. It became a new thing the Makoto did. He would come in while the others were gone and sit with him. He would talk about nothing, boring things that Rin found himself listening to. Ran had lost a tooth. The little white cat Makoto was fond of was getting a little chubby. He had failed his English test. Every day things. Rin never responded, but that never stopped Makoto from talking.

Makoto had began to stay longer and longer, more and more, but he did it so gradually Rin didn't notice until he realised Makoto had began visiting him at least once a day and talking to him. It had worked. Makoto was laying next to him in his hole, and the worst part was, Rin did not mind. He could not bring himself too. He was enjoying the company too much. He liked the stories, the way Makoto sometimes brought children's books over to read to the cats, how Makoto had this bad habit of buying him potted plants and making is old bland room look like a greenhouse.

It took just another month for Rin to start responding, bit by bit, to what Makoto said. Not enough to call it a conversation, but it was something. He would make one sentence comments on the stories, on the plants, nod to something.

"Do you know what Sweet-Williams mean?"

Rin stared at Makoto and shook his head. He wondered if that was what the name of the white flowers were. He had never asked or bothered to look them up. He was watering them that day, so he figured that was why he was asking.

"Grant me one smile," he said.

The watering can (hand-painted with little grey blobs Rin took for sharks courtesy of Ran and Ren), clattered to the floor. Rin straightened up and gave Makoto a warning look before dusting his hands off on his pants and going to switch the album on his boombox.

Makoto sighed, and Rin could feel the disappointed smile on the other's face. He wondered why it unnerved him. Rin tried to sort it out, only to give up and decide not to think about it. When Makoto came over the next time he was there to greet him with his hand over his mouth. He had drawn a permanent marker smile on the back of it.

Makoto's smile then nearly broke his face. Rin just looked away and kept his own hidden behind the hand that he had turned upside down to make a frown. He told himself he was just trying to amuse Makoto, so he would get fed up and leave.

But even he didn't believe that lie.

He was not sure when they had became a strangest sort of friends. He did not know when he began actually talking to Makoto about the cats and his plants. Maybe it was when Makoto had brought him the dwarf sunflowers or the yellow narcissus. Rin had commented it was stupid to always be brought the flowers because he was a guy, and Makoto could not be courting him because he didn't even like him. "I tolerate you," he had said. He thought he saw Makoto's smile falter at that, and he had left earlier than normal.

Rin was starting to wonder why he was lying any more when he laid awake in his bed that night.

The next day, Makoto rather stubbornly gave him a flower crown. Rin had insisted that he was ridiculous. So ridiculous, that he laughed for the first time, since he had watched his aspirations crumble into nothing. If Rin thought Makoto had smiled wide before, that time the smile was ten times larger. He wore the flower crown for the rest of the day "just because it was that stupid."

The days went like that. Faster and faster, and Rin was hardly aware that it was time for graduation until his teacher announced the proceedings to the class. His third year was supposed to be the year that he was scouted out to the Olympics, accomplishing the dream he had been saying he would accomplish for years. It was supposed to be his best year, but right then all he could remember was hospital rooms and check-ups and endless apologies for not being able to fix it.

He decided he did not want to see Makoto that day. He wanted to avoid him at all costs. He went to the beach near his home and found a secret place to sit and rest on the sand. He let the water dampen his uniform and watched the sky move above him. He closed his eyes, the evening sun on his eye lids created the illusion that the world was pure white, blank and empty. He fell asleep in the sand, in that envy of emptiness he could covet forever but never have.

He woke up to see hair just a bit darker than the sand and closed peridot eyes. There was an Iwatobi uniform jacket slung over him, and a backpack underneath his head. "Why?" The words left his mouth without warning, without thought. He was surprised they slipped past his lips.

"Because you're a brat."

That took him by an even greater surprise. The too-green eyes were pointed at him now. His gaze was intense and steady, and Rin found himself paralysed to the spot as he stared back.

"You're worse than my siblings. You're selfish. You only think about yourself. You whine a lot. Complain even more. Can't ever make things easy. Like how you love the flowers, and then pretend you don't like them. Like how you don't just 'tolerate' me. How no matter how indifferent you treat me, you expect me to come back to you.

"How you've gotten into the habit of hiding smiles from me, but I can tell they're there because your eyes shine differently. Like the way I know that keychain has been moved from the flower pot to under your pillow or that I spotted the flower crown hiding with your albums. How you've been lying to yourself for so long, you've made yourself blind to the fact you like me too.

"A brat because you got hurt. Bad, and yeah, your dream of swimming the Olympics is gone, but you can do so many great things. You just take it for granted because you can't get what you want. Like how you've helped all those cats or how you can probably run your own greenhouse."

Rin stared at him in some sort of shock as he absorbed the words. "... Makoto, what the fuck."

Makoto only smiled softly. "Sorry. I've been holding all that in for months. Did I say too much?"

A small nod of Rin's head told Makoto that he had. Rin looked away and at the jacket over his shoulders. He sat up and kept it around him. "Fine. I like you. Happy?"

A small smile played at the corners of Makoto's mouth, and he shook his head. "Not yet. One more thing," he said and then he pulled Rin's face down to meet his lips. He kept the kiss tender as a hand went to the back of Rin's head to keep him there.

It was like melting, like tingles, like tranquillity, like everything and nothing. In other words, it was too indescribable for Rin to think of a proper word. He just knew that he felt at ease as their lips moved against each other, as Makoto's fingers played in his hair and held onto him. He felt the peace he had been praying for fill him. It did not empty him like he expected it to. It swelled inside of him until all the dark thoughts that constantly had lingered in his mind were pushed out.

"You're the biggest brat in the world, but I love you Matsuoka Rin."

The lonely corners of Rin's mouth crinkled upward, and he found it hard not to be a crybaby again. Not because he was sad, but maybe, just maybe, his third year really had turned out to be his best after all.


	5. Stupid Little Gifts

"Makoto, what the fuck is that?" Rin asked as he pulled out his headphones and looked at the gift in front of him. That was a bad habit of Makoto's. He would go out, and he would see something that reminded him of someone and just buy it. Rin hated the habit and loved it at the same time. He loved it because he liked the idea of surprises, but he hated it because...

Of shit like what was in the box just handed to him.

He tugged out the gift, looking at it with heavy scrutiny. He was not even entirely sure what it was supposed to be. It was just a mess of metallic grey, almost a light silver, and white fabric. His face was still a puzzled glare as he attempted to make it out. It took him a while to deduce it was some sort of shark costume. He picked up a hat with a scrunch of his nose and tugged it on his head, the fabric white teeth a vibrant contrast to his red hair. He reached up and played with the fin before looking at Makoto once more.

Makoto seemed to hear his silent question (he always did; another bad habit). "For the Halloween party. You said you'd go with me," he said warmly with a smile. "I know you don't care for holidays or dressing up, so I picked something out for you."

Rin only nodded and continued to look at it. "I'm not wearing this Makoto." He watched the other's smile falter, but he refused to fall from his stance. One, there was not even enough fabric to call the damn thing a costume. Not to Rin anyway. It was way too cool out to walk out in Autumn weather wearing the short dress with jagged edges he supposed for some sort of teeth or danger effect. Of all things, Makoto had bought him a dress. A silver and white dress (white on the 'stomach' of the 'shark' of course).

Rin had known it was a mistake to allow him to see the pictures of him Gou had taken at the festival. It was just a hard time resisting that persistent pout Makoto used on him. He could feel it pointing at him then without even looking. He dared to take a glance and saw heavily disappointed green eyes and downturned lips.

"You wore a dress for Mikoshiba..."

A new scowl was on Rin's face. "That was different damnit." Oh hell no. Makoto was not pulling the guilt card. Rin made a soft noise as he looked away feeling like he may just be getting defeated. Makoto could see he needed a bit more of a push, so he kept talking.

After all, he really wanted to get Rin in that costume.

He already missed out on the maid outfit.

It was only fair.

"If you do, you won't have t-"

"I want a reward."

The words came from Rin's mouth unexpected, but Makoto should have known Rin never liked doing something he did not want without getting something out of it. Makoto was usually happy to oblige, and a gentle smile came across his lips. His eyes, on the other hand, were hiding a smirk. Rin would have seen it if he would stop averting his eyes. "Okay," Makoto answered.

"You have to make me dinner for a week."

"Okay."

"And all the kimchi I want."

"Okay."

"And you have to keep Ren from proposing to me."

A chuckle passed Makoto's lips. He thought Ren proposing to Rin was actually kind of cute, but it literally broke the poor child's heart every time Rin rejected him. "Okay. Anything else?"

Rin turned around, his arms crossed. "I'll think of something," he said, and with that, he jerked up the costume and went to the bathroom to change. He stared begrudgingly at the dress as he slipped on the flimsy dress, and he cursed the fabric for being so soft and comfortable. It still felt a bit weird although. His legs were pretty bare, and his red briefs peeked from the jagged fringe of the dress. His legs coated in goosebumps from the chill of the bathroom. An idea came to him, and he dug through the bathroom hamper to find his black spandex pants. He slipped them on rather easily beneath the dress. There. He felt better about the dress now. He could lie and tell people the dress was a shirt. And maybe, if luck favoured him for once, they would believe him. He could always wear his Samezuka jacket with it too... Maybe he would go to the party after all. He took a deep breath before going to the bathroom door and pushing it open.

Makoto was staring. He was staring so intently, Rin was sure he would break under the hard gaze. "Tsch, you gonna say something?" he asked thoroughly frustrated (and maybe getting flustered) every second that ticked by without the brunet saying a single word.

Rin's face was just as pretty as in the picture from the culture festival. Even prettier with the way his hair framed his face from underneath the hat. His legs looked even longer clad in the black, clinging fabric of his spandex pants and were given the illusion of elongation by how short the dress was. Not to say Rin did not still look like a man. He did, and that did not stop Makoto at all from thinking how wonderful he looked in the costume. He could see his pecs and chest muscles, the indent of his hips through the tight design of the dress. The white part was almost sheer, and he swore if he stared hard enough he could make out Rin's navel. He could not help the slap-happy smile that are appeared on his face.

"God damnit Makoto I'm gonna fucking punch you," Rin said finally having enough. His fluster had crawled from his heart to his face, heating it up and making it red.

"Okay," Makoto said not having heard a word Rin had said as he continued to stare. It only clued in when he took in the surprise on Rin's face, and his own face heated up slightly in embarrassment. He laughed softly and reached to rub the back of his neck. "Ah, sorry. I wasn't listening."

"Tsch!" The noise was loud to match Rin's irritation level as he went to Makoto. "Are you stupid or something?!"

"Are you pretty or something?"

Rin sputtered, unable to make a full, coherent retort. "Don't compliment me!"

A soft laugh only left Makoto's lips, and he rose to gently tug Rin onto his bed. "Why not?" he hummed contently now satisfied that he had Rin close. He kept his arms from Rin's mouth, leaving them around the other's arms and waist to restrict his movement. He had learnt a while ago that Rin could get pretty violent when overly excited. Rin had the fight or flight response of an angry cat put in a towel.

It took some time for Rin to stop squirming before he just sulked in Makoto's arms with a scowling pout. He hated losing their small power struggles. Makoto knew just what buttons to push, and that was just so frustrating. He was still in a huff when Makoto's hold relaxed to give Rin more moving room. The redhead moved to share a locked gaze with Makoto. "You're a shitty boyfriend."

Makoto only laughed and kissed the side of his neck, a sensitive spot that sent a small tingle down Rin's body when he felt the larger male's lips. "You're a great boyfriend. Fantastic even. Better than kittens." It was like a game. Rin would throw out an insult; Makoto would retort with a compliment that would render Rin frustrated and speechless. He kissed Rin's neck again as if to emphasise what he said. This time, he trailed his lips down to dip along the neckline of the dress. Rin tensed at the kisses, the tingles increasing in their intensity as Makoto teased his skin.

"Rin, did you steal my shampoo again?" Another kiss, near the nape of his neck.

Rin almost bit his lip. The tingles building in him as he tried resisting pushing himself into Makoto and demanding more. "I had to use your shower after I came from swim practise. Your shampoo was available," he said.

"Mhmn," Makoto hummed against Rin's skin, and he placed another kiss just below the neckline. His hands had began to massage Rin's hips, dipping low to push up the dress. Then tracing across his bare skin along the hem of his spandex pants. It was the last straw. The pleasurable tingles from the touches, the kisses had built to Rin manoeuvring his body to face Makoto and smash their faces together in a deep kiss.

"Fucking shirt," Rin muttered as he wrestled to get the bothersome fabric off of Makoto's skin. Makoto was placing more kisses on his neck as he did so, and that only made his hands fumble more. The shirt eventually fell to the floor, and Rin let out what could be taken as only a pleased purr that would remain unmentioned later. His hands travelled down Makoto's chest feeling his muscles (from his pectorials to his obliques to his abs). His fingers would scavenge the dips and curves as he found Makoto's lips again and kissed the other aggressively. Makoto was sweet back, his hands a contrast to Rin's as they traced up the redhead's back and sides, teasing, fluttering touches that only drove Rin even more insane.

He could feel Makoto's hands dipping below the spandex , and then the pants were slipped off along with his briefs. He could feel the pads of Makoto's fingers pushing into the flesh of his ass, and he could taste Makoto on his tongue as he demanded more, like a bratty child who had a bowl of ice cream and wanted the whole carton. He ground his hips into Makoto's to tell him he wanted more _now_.

But rather than giving in, Makoto just held onto Rin a bit more to keep him still. "Don't you like it better when we take it slow?" Makoto asked as he pulled out from the kiss. Rin's response to that was to nip his shoulder. Makoto just liked teasing him. He was sure of- His thoughts stopped as a finger prodded his entrance, but it did not dare to push in. Rin groaned and rubbed against the finger. "Fuck," he breathed, and then with great reluctance and a bit of a hurry he reached to rummage through the nightstand. He found the lubricant and took the liberty of it upon himself to put the strawberry flavoured lubricant on his own fingers. He slipped them downwards, making sure those peridot eyes were taking his appearance in as he slid them to his backside and teased his own entrance. He fought the urge to bite his lip as he pushed the first digit in.

He was biting his lip by the fourth finger, a small trickle of blood trickling from his mouth and dribbling down over the faintly pink curves of his lips. Makoto leant forward and licked off the blood. "You're making a mess," he teased gently as his tongue slowly dragged across Rin's lips. Then lips replaced the tongue, and the tongue was in his mouth. Rin was still fingering himself, his hips rolling to push them in deeper as the other melted his thoughts with a skilled tongue. He moaned into the other's mouth, almost whining because his fingers were not pressing deep enough nor into the right places.

"Your fault," he said into the kiss because it was Makoto's fault, completely and utterly. He was a mess because Makoto kept teasing him with butterfly touches and fluttering kisses. He had the face of an angel, and the bedroom skills of the devil.

"Yours too," Makoto echoed as he tried to keep Rin's lips on his rather than forming words. His hands moved to remove Rin's desperate fingers and slid the other back onto his lap. He could hear Rin's breath hitching, shallow and deep like he was on his last lap of a 100 metre race. "Rin," he whispered into the other's ear as he rubbed the head of his arousal against the other's entrance. "Sorry, we might miss the party."

"Fuck the party," Rin growled, and with that (and maybe a wince) he forced himself down on Makoto's cock, not stopping until the other was buried in him to the hilt. His nails gouged Makoto's back as he desperately tried to adjust because _fuck_ no matter how many time they did this sort of thing, Rin could never quite get used to how very large Makoto was. His legs shook as he took it all in, taking in shaky breaths of air as he relaxed around the large girth of the base. "I...," he rolled his hips a little earning a groan from his larger lover, "... like," another roll, a little more up and down, "this," and with that he managed to move his hips to the head and then sink back down with a soft gasp. Makoto's fingers were digging pretty harshly into his hips, enough to leave what he knew would be violet fingerprints on his hips by morning.

He continued the gentle rolling of his hips, getting used to everything. He finally thought he could handle it, and plus, Makoto's fingers were digging even harder into his skin if that was possible. He could tell the brunet was at his limit. "Ah, okay, let go," Rin breathed. That was their code word for Makoto to stop holding back.

It only took a few moments for Rin to be on his back, his nails still in Makoto's back as the other thrust into him. He could feel needy moans leaving his mouth without thought, and he had to muffle himself with Makoto's mouth before he accidentally woke the Tachibana family. (He would not even know how to live that down.)

He could feel the dress bunching around his navel, but he could not manage to care at all. All he cared about and felt was Makoto inside him, on him, near him. His thoughts swam as he locked his ankles around the other's waist. It was definitely more Makoto's fault he was such a mess. The thought hardly processed in his ecstasy ridden thoughts as Makoto found That Spot that made him sure this was what dying felt like because it felt too good to be real. It felt like he was being sent over the edge into a heavenly hell. Or maybe into a hellish heaven - Rin didn't know, and he sure didn't care.

The words that scrambled from his lips mixed with Makoto's and together they were making the most profane of songs and prayers. (Rin praying _harderhardergodharder_, and Makoto whispering sweet nothings for him to drown in.) Soon there were no words, only pants, as they neared their climaxes. Rin had moved his bloodied fingers (he would be sorry later) to the sheets as he clenched around Makoto's shaft, gasping as he felt the other come inside him. Fuck, he should have used a condom. He hated cleaning up. Not that he was exactly helping by coming on the both of them and the dress.

"Fuck... Heavy...," Rin complained when Makoto fell on top of him. Makoto mumbled an apology before pulling out and rolling over. Rin stayed on his back a while before wrestling off the dress while laying down and tossing it to the floor. He had no idea where the hat had even disappeared to. Makoto had gotten up during his struggle with the costume to get some damp wash cloths to clean up the both of them. He managed to get the come off their chests before Rin stated grumpily he was moving too damn much and demanded he stop fucking moving already and lay down with him. Makoto sheepishly obliged.

Rin liked to tangle their legs together, and Makoto liked to hold him close. They fit like puzzle pieces once both of them were really comfortable. Rin could feel Makoto's hair against his chin and chest, and Makoto could hear Rin's heartbeat.

"Hey Rin," Makoto mumbled getting a light hum in response. "Thanks."

Rin kicked him lightly in the back of what he took as the back of Makoto's leg. "Shut up. Just stop buying me weirdass shit."

Makoto laughed and moved to kiss his neck gently. "Okay," he said, but Rin knew Makoto would probably buy him something else the next week.

"Now really. Shut up and sleep."

Another laugh, but this time Rin could hear Makoto whisper "I love you too" along with it. Rin just harumphed and snuggled him more, burying his face in hair the colour of sun-kissed sand. To think they ended up in that position because of a ridiculous shark costume.

Eh, maybe Makoto's gifts weren't _that_ bad.


End file.
